Receiving a disclosure or supporting a child or youth who has been sexually abused can bring up strong emotions, however it is best to process these emotions with other adults. Expressing these emotions in front of the child can cause them to feel as if they have done something wrong in disclosing.
If you do express how you are feeling in front of the child, make sure to explain that you are upset at what has happened to them, but that you are happy that they have come to you for help. Ensure that the child knows that they have done the right thing in telling someone what has happened.
Children are often very afraid that they will not be believed when they disclose experiences of abuse. By showing the child that you believe they are telling the truth, you can help them to feel safe and more comfortable seeking help.
The following statements can often have a positive impact on someone when they reach out for help:
Reassure the child that they didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s not their fault. This can help to reduce feelings of guilt and self-blame. Whether child sexual abuse or youth/ teen sexual assault between peers, the only person who did something wrong was the person who used abusive behaviour.
When responding to a disclosure from a child, only ask questions when they are needed to make a report of child sexual abuse, or to better support the child.
When a question needs to be asked, avoid leading questions. Instead, ask questions that are open-ended. The following is an example of an open-ended question:
Tell the child that however they are feeling is okay. There is no one way, and no wrong way, to be feeling following an experience of abuse.
It is important not to assume that physical affection – like hugs – will be helpful to the child. Instead, it should be up to the child to decide if physical support is something they would like. This also helps to reinforce their ability to decide what happens to their body.
Assure the child that you will help, but avoid making promises you can’t keep.
In Alberta, all adults (18+) have the legal responsibility to report suspected child abuse of any kind; you do not need a disclosure to report. Call the Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-387-KIDS (5437); reports can be made anonymously.
Learn about protecting a child from abuse, neglect or sexual exploitation, and what to say when you report a concern.
Hearing a disclosure can be very upsetting, and for some it can be a trigger to remember their own experiences of abuse. It is important to take care of yourself when you are supporting a child or youth who has experienced sexual violence.
If you would like to talk to someone about how to respond to a disclosure, or to receive support in your role as a supporter.
Visit our Child and Youth Counselling services page, check out other content on our Learn page, or follow the links below for other resources in our community.
(14+) Access from any emergency room in the Edmonton Zone
The improper exposure of a child to any sexual contact, activity, or behaviour. This includes all sexual touching, the invitation to touch, exhibitionism, exposure to pornography.
Forcing another individual, through violence, threats (physical or emotional), pressure, deception, guilt, to engage in sexual activities against their will.
A voluntary agreement between 2 or more people to engage in sexual activity. Consent must be clear, informed, voluntary, sober, act and person-specific, ongoing, mutual, active, and come directly from the individuals engaging in the sexual contact. It is impossible to get consent from children, though close-in-age and peer-experimentation exceptions exist for youth ages 12-15.
A society or environment in which obtaining consent and respecting boundaries is the norm, for both sexual contact and everyday activities.
The advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.
An intersectional approach to service delivery that acknowledges that the root of sexual violence is power inequality and works to reduce barriers that groups and individuals face when seeking support and volunteer or employment opportunities.
When an intimate photo or video is shared or taken without the voluntary consent (read consent definition above) of the person in the photo or video (Source: savedmonton.com)
Person-first language recognizes that a person is more than any one experience and that labels are sometimes harmful. People who have experienced sexual violence may use terms like victim or survivor to describe themselves, or they may use words like offender or perpetrator to describe the person who harmed them. Terms that resonate for one person may not fit for another person for a variety of reasons, and SACE supports a person’s right to self-determine their identity and experience. This is why at SACE, we default to person-first language such as “person who experienced sexual assault”, or “person who used abusive behavior”, unless speaking with or about an individual who has identified how they would like their experience to be talked about.
A society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse.
Sex trafficking is a form of sexual exploitation. Human trafficking for the purposes of sexual exploitation is a crime and Canada has specific legislation in the Criminal Code (S. 279) and in the IRPA (Immigrant and Refugee Protection Action) (S. 117 & 118) to address all types of human trafficking (sexual exploitation, labour exploitation, organ, debt servitude) There are three elements to constitute human trafficking: Action + Means + Purpose.
Sexual abuse is most often used to refer to Child Sexual Abuse. To learn more about this, read the definition above or our section on Child Sexual Abuse.
Any form of sexual contact without voluntary consent, including unwanted: oral contact (kissing); sexual touching; oral-genital contact; and/or vaginal or anal penetration.
Any actual or attempted abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust, for sexual purposes, including, but not limited to, profiting monetarily, socially or politically from the sexual exploitation of another.
Any unwanted comment, gesture, or action that is sexual in nature that makes someone feel afraid, embarrassed, uncomfortable or ashamed. The intention of the person doing the action doesn’t matter, it’s the negative impact the action has that makes something sexual harassment.
Sexual violence is an umbrella term that refers to any form of non-consensual sexual behavior, including sexual assault, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, sex trafficking, and sexual violence facilitated through technology.
A print copy of “Supporting a Child or Youth Impacted by Sexual Violence” is available for download.
