They include things like: always walking with someone else, not being alone at night, not wearing revealing clothing, taking a self-defense class, and not wearing your hair in a ponytail, to name a few. These tips often come from a well-intentioned place; they are given in the hopes of protecting people. However, safety tips often come with unintended, harmful impacts because they inadvertently adhere to myths about how and why sexual assault happens.
Safety tips inadvertently misidentify the cause of sexual assault as being something that the person who experienced the sexual assault did or did not do. This unintentionally puts the responsibility for the sexual assault on the person who experienced it, instead of on the person who did it. In this way, safety tips contribute to an environment in which sexual assault is allowed to happen because the people causing this harm are not held responsible. In reality, the only person responsible for a sexual assault happening is the person who forced sexual contact on someone who didn’t want it to happen; there is nothing that anyone can ever do to “ask for it”. This focus on the survivor’s actions is also known as victim blaming.
Safety tips are usually developed with a certain picture of sexual assault in mind: a stranger popping up, often when someone is walking alone in the dark, possibly in an alleyway. This type of experience happens and is a scary, valid fear to have. But in reality, up to 85% of the time sexual assaults are committed by someone the person knows; they could be a friend, an acquaintance, a family member, or a partner or significant other. As such, sexual assaults are more likely to happen in someone’s home rather than out in public.
At the same time, the most common response people have when experiencing a sexual assault is to freeze up or shut down. This response is one way the body tries to keep itself safe when something scary is happening. If someone freezes instead of fighting back or running away during a sexual assault, it still is not their fault that it happened.
Another typical assumption about sexual assault that informs safety tips is that sexual assault is usually physically violent; someone is forced into sexual contact using physical force or threats of physical harm. Like sexual assault by strangers in alleyways, physically violent sexual assaults do happen and are valid, scary experiences for which people deserve support. Again like with stranger sexual assault, though, physically violent sexual assault happens far less often than people tend to think. The vast majority of the time, it is emotional manipulation and coercion that is used to force someone to have sexual contact they don’t want to have. Examples of emotional manipulation and coercion include threatening to end the relationship, pressuring someone to agree, threatening consequences if they don’t submit, and using guilt.
The reality is, the typical safety tips do not address the realities of how and why sexual assault happens, and they can leave people who experience it feeling like it was their fault. People have every right to do what they need to do to feel safe and empowered, and following safety tips can be part of that. The thing to remember, though, is that sexual assault is never the fault of the person who experienced it, whether they followed safety tips or not.
Keeping this in mind, there are actions people can take to be part of preventing potential sexual assaults from happening:
To talk to someone about information in this article you can call the SACE Support and Information Line at 780.423.4121, or chat on sace.ca from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily.
The improper exposure of a child to any sexual contact, activity, or behaviour. This includes all sexual touching, the invitation to touch, exhibitionism, exposure to pornography.
Forcing another individual, through violence, threats (physical or emotional), pressure, deception, guilt, to engage in sexual activities against their will.
A voluntary agreement between 2 or more people to engage in sexual activity. Consent must be clear, informed, voluntary, sober, act and person-specific, ongoing, mutual, active, and come directly from the individuals engaging in the sexual contact. It is impossible to get consent from children, though close-in-age and peer-experimentation exceptions exist for youth ages 12-15.
A society or environment in which obtaining consent and respecting boundaries is the norm, for both sexual contact and everyday activities.
The advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.
An intersectional approach to service delivery that acknowledges that the root of sexual violence is power inequality and works to reduce barriers that groups and individuals face when seeking support and volunteer or employment opportunities.
When an intimate photo or video is shared or taken without the voluntary consent (read consent definition above) of the person in the photo or video (Source: savedmonton.com)
Person-first language recognizes that a person is more than any one experience and that labels are sometimes harmful. People who have experienced sexual violence may use terms like victim or survivor to describe themselves, or they may use words like offender or perpetrator to describe the person who harmed them. Terms that resonate for one person may not fit for another person for a variety of reasons, and SACE supports a person’s right to self-determine their identity and experience. This is why at SACE, we default to person-first language such as “person who experienced sexual assault”, or “person who used abusive behavior”, unless speaking with or about an individual who has identified how they would like their experience to be talked about.
A society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse.
Sex trafficking is a form of sexual exploitation. Human trafficking for the purposes of sexual exploitation is a crime and Canada has specific legislation in the Criminal Code (S. 279) and in the IRPA (Immigrant and Refugee Protection Action) (S. 117 & 118) to address all types of human trafficking (sexual exploitation, labour exploitation, organ, debt servitude) There are three elements to constitute human trafficking: Action + Means + Purpose.
Sexual abuse is most often used to refer to Child Sexual Abuse. To learn more about this, read the definition above or our section on Child Sexual Abuse.
Any form of sexual contact without voluntary consent, including unwanted: oral contact (kissing); sexual touching; oral-genital contact; and/or vaginal or anal penetration.
Any actual or attempted abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust, for sexual purposes, including, but not limited to, profiting monetarily, socially or politically from the sexual exploitation of another.
Any unwanted comment, gesture, or action that is sexual in nature that makes someone feel afraid, embarrassed, uncomfortable or ashamed. The intention of the person doing the action doesn’t matter, it’s the negative impact the action has that makes something sexual harassment.
Sexual violence is an umbrella term that refers to any form of non-consensual sexual behavior, including sexual assault, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, sex trafficking, and sexual violence facilitated through technology.
