Whether you’re making sure an intoxicated friend gets home safely, letting someone know that a rape joke isn’t funny, or getting security involved when someone is behaving aggressively, taking action can affect the way those around you think about and respond to sexual violence. The first step in bystander intervention is to understand and recognize sexual violence. Sexual violence is any unwanted or abusive behaviours that are sexual in nature including sexual harassment and sexual assault. For additional learning, our Adult Sexual Violence Information Sheet and our website “Learn” section provide a strong foundation of understanding.
It can be difficult as a bystander to know if what you are witnessing is consensual or not. Consent means that everyone
involved voluntarily agrees to engage in a given activity, whether that’s flirting, dancing, or sex. Consent is about mutual enjoyment and active, ongoing participation. As a bystander, we want to watch for dynamics where participation is one- sided, body language doesn’t match, or where one person is much more intoxicated.
Consent is not the same as flirting, and has nothing to do with what someone is wearing, where they are, whether they’ve been drinking, their sexual history, or their profession. Most instances of sexual violence don’t involve physical force but do involve emotional force like pressure, guilt, threats, or manipulation.
There are many ways that a person can show or imply “no” through their actions, words, or body language. Some examples include:
It can be difficult as a bystander to know if what you are witnessing is consensual or not. Consent means that everyone involved voluntarily agrees to engage in a given activity, whether that’s flirting, dancing, or sex. Consent is about mutual enjoyment and active, ongoing participation. As a bystander, we want to watch for dynamics where participation is one- sided, body language doesn’t match, or where one person is much more intoxicated.
Address the situation head on. Examples:
Indirectly de-escalate the situation. Examples:
Get someone else involved. Examples:
Consider using DESC Conflict Resolution Model:
D Describe the situation
E Express why you’re concerned
S Specify what you want them to do
C Consequence – highlight the positive consequence for listening to you
For discussion about how to create safer spaces for your workplace, community group, event, etc., call SACE and ask to speak to a Public Educator.
The improper exposure of a child to any sexual contact, activity, or behaviour. This includes all sexual touching, the invitation to touch, exhibitionism, exposure to pornography.
Forcing another individual, through violence, threats (physical or emotional), pressure, deception, guilt, to engage in sexual activities against their will.
A voluntary agreement between 2 or more people to engage in sexual activity. Consent must be clear, informed, voluntary, sober, act and person-specific, ongoing, mutual, active, and come directly from the individuals engaging in the sexual contact. It is impossible to get consent from children, though close-in-age and peer-experimentation exceptions exist for youth ages 12-15.
A society or environment in which obtaining consent and respecting boundaries is the norm, for both sexual contact and everyday activities.
The advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.
An intersectional approach to service delivery that acknowledges that the root of sexual violence is power inequality and works to reduce barriers that groups and individuals face when seeking support and volunteer or employment opportunities.
When an intimate photo or video is shared or taken without the voluntary consent (read consent definition above) of the person in the photo or video (Source: savedmonton.com)
Person-first language recognizes that a person is more than any one experience and that labels are sometimes harmful. People who have experienced sexual violence may use terms like victim or survivor to describe themselves, or they may use words like offender or perpetrator to describe the person who harmed them. Terms that resonate for one person may not fit for another person for a variety of reasons, and SACE supports a person’s right to self-determine their identity and experience. This is why at SACE, we default to person-first language such as “person who experienced sexual assault”, or “person who used abusive behavior”, unless speaking with or about an individual who has identified how they would like their experience to be talked about.
A society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse.
Sex trafficking is a form of sexual exploitation. Human trafficking for the purposes of sexual exploitation is a crime and Canada has specific legislation in the Criminal Code (S. 279) and in the IRPA (Immigrant and Refugee Protection Action) (S. 117 & 118) to address all types of human trafficking (sexual exploitation, labour exploitation, organ, debt servitude) There are three elements to constitute human trafficking: Action + Means + Purpose.
Sexual abuse is most often used to refer to Child Sexual Abuse. To learn more about this, read the definition above or our section on Child Sexual Abuse.
Any form of sexual contact without voluntary consent, including unwanted: oral contact (kissing); sexual touching; oral-genital contact; and/or vaginal or anal penetration.
Any actual or attempted abuse of a position of vulnerability, differential power, or trust, for sexual purposes, including, but not limited to, profiting monetarily, socially or politically from the sexual exploitation of another.
Any unwanted comment, gesture, or action that is sexual in nature that makes someone feel afraid, embarrassed, uncomfortable or ashamed. The intention of the person doing the action doesn’t matter, it’s the negative impact the action has that makes something sexual harassment.
Sexual violence is an umbrella term that refers to any form of non-consensual sexual behavior, including sexual assault, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, sex trafficking, and sexual violence facilitated through technology.
A print copy of “Bystander intervention” is available for download.
